


Of Rules and Roses

by BattleAngel



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien your chat is showing, Dealing with double life injuries in school, LadyNoir fluff to the point of exhaustion, Work Up For Adoption, also Adrien bein angsty but not the whole time I swear, it'll eventually be marichat, the miraculous cure isn't working right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21621115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BattleAngel/pseuds/BattleAngel
Summary: It's been a four-year fantasy of Ladybug and Chat Noir protecting Paris in harmony. Sure, there have been ups and downs, but nothing the indestructible team can't handle.Until the team isn't so indestructible.All the sudden, the safety net of the Miraculous Cure isn't there for Chat, and his two lives start to blur together.Anything that happens to Chat Noir when he's fighting akumas isn't fixed afterward. Get thrown through skyscrapers? Better hope the bruises aren't too visible, cause Adrien'll be bringing them to school the next day.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 38
Kudos: 166





	1. Second is the best?

**Author's Note:**

> So, funny story, like the idiot I am, I'm starting another fic even though I'm totally in the middle of one right now. I just kinda felt the irrepressible urge to explore more traditional headcanons and leave apocalyptic Paris to itself for a hot minute. Please note I'm not putting OoA on hiatus, just might update a little slower, and I'm totally going to put this on there too. So yup that's happening and enjoy some LadyNoir fluffies. 
> 
> P.S. There will be some Adrien angst per tags but not like a lot and if you want that super angst don't hesitate to visit OoA okthxbaiii
> 
> P.P.S. Also FYI I like to think of the Cataclysms being pronounced like they are in the French dubs so here kindly pretend they sound like CAT AH CLEEE SMAH. 
> 
> P.P.P.S. Also I hope to do weekly updates for this fic but seeing as how my dumb self is running two now imma just hope for the best. 
> 
> Okay that's it thanks *throws dissapointingly short chapter into the air* *runs off into the night never to be seen again*

Chat gaped. 

Ladybug giggled, and twirled her red fingers through her midnight hair. 

“Better close your mouth before you catch any flies,” she quipped, and booped him on the nose. 

Chat blinked, then exaggeratedly rubbed his eyes in disbelief. “My lady with her hair down?” He fake swooned. “Im- _ paw _ -sible.” 

Ladybug rolled her eyes at him. “That was one of your worst puns in the four years I’ve known you, kitten. I’m starting to think you’re lowering your standards.” 

He grinned. “So you  _ do  _ notice them!” 

She scoffed. “They’re the bane of my existence, Chat.”

He pouted his lips and folded his ears flat against his blonde mop. “Now that’s not very nice.”

Ladybug was about to jab him again when a crack sounded in the distance. Both heroes’ heads whipped around to see a plume of violently electric blue smoke emerge on the horizon. 

Chat sighed. “Looks like this patrol won’t be as leisurely as I hoped.”

Ladybug pulled her yoyo off her hip and began to spin it. 

“Are they ever?” 

She whipped it out over the city with a  _ thwap _ , and was gone toward the smoke in a flash of scarlet. 

Chat sighed again, feeling very sorry for himself. “This had better not be a late one,” he grumbled. “I’ve got homework.” Then he resignedly extended his baton and was gone as well.

He arrived at Ladybug’s side in seconds, and stood with her, surveying the scene imperiously. 

“And what has the lovely Papillion prepared for our entertainment this fine evening?” He said, in a terribly nasal British accent. 

Ladybug turned to him, nose upturned. “We appear to be looking at an akuma who wishes to turn all of Paris… blue?” Her accent was even worse than his.

He laughed. “Buginette, are you  _ mocking  _ my fantastic acting skills?”

She turned to him, batting her eyes innocently. “Fantastic in what ways, exactly?”

He stuck his tongue out at her. “Rude.”

Ladybug laughed, then a scream drew her attention back to the akuma below them. 

“Right.” she sighed. “Back to work, then.”

Jumping into action, she swung off the building and landed with an unceremonious thud in front of the humanoid blue smoke. It swung around to face her, and when it saw her, let out an unholy screech. It charged straight for her, mouth open and crackling with lightning. 

Ladybug looked almost bored as she stepped sideways, the smoke-man going straight past her. It wheeled in confusion, but when it turned fully Ladybug was gone. It whipped its head around, lightning-filled eyes narrowed as it searched in vain for the spotted hero.

Suddenly with a resounding  _ crack _ , Ladybug swung in and grabbed the smoke giant’s back, using her yoyo as reins. It roared and clawed at its back, trying to scrape her off. 

The sky was growing dark and thick with royal blue clouds, and the electric blue light refracting from the creature’s mouth and eyes bounced around like a rave. Ladybug was backlit with a neon blue glow as she began to struggle to keep the smoke bound with the yoyo. 

But she held on with grim determination, and yelled, 

“Chat! Anklet!”

That was what he had been waiting for. Chat leapt out of the shadows between two buildings as the skyscrapers glanced blue light everywhere. He bounded forward, dodging lightning as he focused in on the creature’s dark blue anklet, where Ladybug said the akuma was. 

And Ladybug was never wrong. 

He yelled, 

“CATACLYSM,”

And reached for the anklet. But just as he was about to touch it, the creature bellowed, and a singular lightning bolt came from his mouth, crackling toward Chat Noir. 

For a moment, time slowed, and Chat could feel the bolt about to strike, the electric energy it carried lifting every hair on his neck to attention. But he was so close to the anklet, so… close…

Then it hit him. 

He screamed, and the world went dark. His limp body flew across the circle of destruction their fight had created, and he slammed into the side of a skyscraper. His Cataclysm struck an innocent cell phone that had been abandoned in the chaos, and it crumbled to dust. He lay amid shattered glass in a simple office complex, a Chat-shaped hole in the sheetrock. 

He didn’t hear Ladybug’s desperate cry, didn’t see her quick work with a Lucky Charm. Missed the blue creature being dissolved into purple bubbles and a teenage girl sitting in the debris, confused. He never saw her throw the red and black spotted desk lamp into the air, screaming Miraculous Ladybug as she rushed to his side before the hole in the building closed up. 

As the Miraculous Cure washed over him, he opened his eyes blearily to see his lady crouched over him, tears welling in her perfect blue eyes. 

He smiled up at her crookedly, and a single sob escaped her. But when people started to stream back into the building, she quickly wiped her eyes and schooled her expression back into a standard nothing-to-see-here. She helped him up, and he did his best to keep from wincing. 

The office manager stopped her and said the customary thank-you. Ladybug nodded cordially and then said something about how she wanted to go check up on the victim. The manager hurriedly agreed, and stepped out of her way. 

They walked past her, and Chat didn’t miss the hint of concern shown on the manager’s face. Chat winked at her, and her face lightened considerably. She waved a little shyly at him on his way out, Ladybug nearly dragging him. 

Once they were out of earshot, Ladybug turned to Chat, eyes narrowed with fury. 

“You will never do that to me again, do you hear me?” 

Chat nodded meekly. 

“Yes, M’lady.”

“Repeat after me.” Ladybug instructed. Chat grinned. This was his favorite game, though he was careful not to let Ladybug know. 

“I, the stupid cat-boy,”

“Aw, Buginette, that’s not very ni-” 

She shushed him angrily.

“Repeat.”

He sighed.

“I, the stupid cat-boy,” he grumbled.

“Will never ever,”

“Will never ever,”

“Worry Ladybug again.”

“Worry Buginette again.”

She sniffed haughtily.

“Good. Now, we seal the promise.”

She held out a pinkie. He grinned, then hooked his finger with hers. 

They said in unison, 

“This I solemnly pinkie swear.” 

Then she giggled, so he had to giggle. She smiled at him. 

“Well,” she sighed, then stretched. “I’d better be going. Got to be up early in the morning, that’s me.”

Chat groaned.

“Don’t remind me.”

She smiled affectionately, then squinted. 

“You sure you’re okay?”

He grinned, then gave her the a-ok sign. 

“Never better. Miraculous Cure worked like a charm.”

She grinned. 

“Good. Now, go home and get some rest, Minou. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She punched his shoulder playfully, then turned and swung away.

He smiled and waved. Then turned and headed back to the Agreste mansion. He dropped through the window he had left open, and stood. Then, thinking better of it, sat down. He gritted his teeth, preparing for what was about to come. Then took a deep breath. 

“Plagg, claws out.”

The familiar green flash raced over him as the transformation dropped. He was Adrien again. 

And then it came. 

The pain wracked his body, and he fell to the couch and curled in on himself, shuddering and groaning. Plagg floated a few feet away, silent as quiet sobs shook Adrien. He clutched at the armrest, and when he turned over Plagg saw the deep purple bruises on his back from where he had been thrown through concrete. The suit had absorbed damage, but not enough. 

The Miraculous Cure wasn’t working. 

And being Chat Noir was more dangerous than ever.


	2. Third Time's the Charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to wait and upload this over the weekday, but I'm not a super patient person so I posted it today. Surprise! 
> 
> This is the one with all that fun stuff promised on the work summary. Hope you enjoy, mes petits choux!

What really drove Plagg over the edge about the whole situation was the fact that Adrien still insisted on going to school as often as he could. Plagg considered potentially life-threatening injuries to be a perfectly good excuse to miss sitting in a classroom all day. 

But Adrien wasn’t about to give up what he’d worked so hard for the privilege of, so to Collège Françoise Dupont he went. 

His most recent acquisition made him glad he had a messenger bag instead of the standard backpack. The bruises were uncomfortable enough without a bookbag pressing on them constantly. 

He arrived at Ms. Bustier’s room with no trouble, and slid into the desk beside Nino with only a little wince, which he considered a great accomplishment, seeing as how he’d been sobbing sweat-soaked only last night. 

“Bro.” 

Nino offered his customary early-morning greeting. Bustier was their first class, which of course meant that both Nino and Marinette wouldn’t be truly functional until about halfway through. 

Adrien smiled and returned the simple gesture. 

“Bro.”

Alya skipped into the class, bursting at the seams with enough energy to power all the lights in the school. Adrien knew for a  _ fact  _ that she kept multiple Monster Energys in that ginormous backpack of hers, and he suspected it was only to rub them in Nino and Marinette’s faces. 

He was surprised to see the next face in the door was Marinette. She usually didn’t show up until the bell, or a few minutes after it.

Or more than a few minutes. 

There was one time that he’d never forget- she ran in just as the end of class bell rang, screeched in agony, pleaded with Ms. Bustier to mark her present, (which she did) and then was out the door again in the next minute. Then was absent in their next class, again.

He couldn’t help but wonder what on earth she did in her spare time that made her so tardy. Heck, he had a whole double life, and he still made it to class on time 90 percent of the time. 

But today she looked oddly chipper, and said a cheerful hello to Nino and him, earning the customary “Bro.” from Nino, and a smile and wave from himself. She blushed a little at that, then hurried to her desk. 

She slid into her seat and started a conversation with Alya, which was not easy to do when she was Monster-high. Serious BFF points, right there. He caught some snippets of their conversation.

“You’re looking awful chipper today,” Alya said, quickly and with an almost manic smile on her face.

“Yep!” Marinette announced. “I got a little extra sleep last night, didn’t stay out as late.” She blushed, then frantically backtracked. “I mean stayed up, not stayed out. Cause I don’t stay out. At all. Cause I’m… antisocial. Yep. I was up, not out.” She nodded, confident in her reasoning. 

Adrien accidentally snorted with a little laughter, but as Marinette turned to him, he quickly turned back around to face the front and cleared his throat. 

The last of their classmates began to stream in, and when the final bell rang everyone was in their seats. Adrien found that if he sat ramrod straight he could lessen the constant ache of his back. Ms. Bustier began to call the roll, and he answered

“Present.”

Then was able to relax a little. The class passed by quickly, and before he knew it, the bell rang and Nino was packing his things. 

Adrien put his binder and tablet in his bag, and when he was leaned over to do so Nino grinned and quipped, 

“Hurry up, dude. Stop packing like an old man, we got to go.”

Then he shoved him playfully. 

Pain exploded over Adrien’s back, and it was all he could do to keep from crying out. His eyes welled involuntarily, and he sucked in a sharp breath.

Nino heard “Hey man, you okay?” he leaned over him, unintentionally pressing on his shoulder blades.

The pain blossomed again, and this time Adrien couldn’t stop it. He cried out, and fell to one knee in the aisle, where his classmates were trying to leave. He started to hyperventilate, and his eyes dilated. 

Nino rushed to his side, and the class fell silent. Marinette was frozen on her way out the door, staring at Adrien, her eyebrows knitted together in the perfect picture of concern.

“Bro, you good? I’m really sorry, man-”

Nino reached to pat Adrien on the back, but Adrien shot his hand out and grabbed Nino’s wrist before he could. Nino’s eyes went wide.

“Please don’t.” Adrien said, sucking air through gritted teeth. 

He forced himself to stand, then robotically walked out of the classroom, leaving them all stunned. He passed Marinette, who was still frozen in the doorway. 

Then he entered the sea of students outside the door. 

Bad idea.

He was jostled around like never before, or maybe he was just now noticing. The press of sweaty bodies was inescapable. He was drowning in a river of people, and no one could see. His back exploded over and over until he was numb. He was ready to give up when someone grabbed his hand and started pulling him toward the nearest door. 

He was thrust out of the throng to what he saw to be his next class. 

He turned to thank his savior, and saw Marinette. 

She stood before him like a kid caught with their hand stuck in a cookie jar, the guilty expression she wore rivaled only by that of akuma victims he’d seen after they were purified and what they’d done explained to them. 

He grinned at her. “Thanks, Marinette. You’re a lifesaver.”

She smiled and blushed, as usual. Then turned and disappeared back into the fray. 

Adrien turned back to his seat and smiled a little. Even though his back was still numb, at least someone understood. Then he came to a sudden realization, and groaned in defeat. His next class after this one was gym. 

He knew he should listen to Plagg more.


	3. Alternative Solutions...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've always loved the idea of Adrien being a total weeb and exposing Plagg to the culture. 
> 
> And also I was reading back through and realised I should probably tag this for graphic depictions of violence. So let's just all consense to pretend it was always like that.
> 
> Sorry this chapter is short. Disclaimer, the next one will be too. But soon, sooooooooon! *runs off into the night howling*

Adrien stood out at the front of the school, cell phone pressed to his ear.

“Yeah, the school… I’m right out front... I know it’s not out yet. Can you please just come?... Okay. See you in ten.” 

He hung up, then walked to a nearby bench to wait. Plagg floated out to look him in the eye, tiny paws crossed. 

“You know you can’t keep this up forever.” He said crossly. 

Adrien sighed. 

“Yeah, I know, I know.”

He dragged his hand through his sweaty blonde mop.

“But I can’t give up being Chat Noir for some silly little bruises. Last time it was only a bruised elbow. I’ll just have to be more careful.”

“Kid, I’m gonna say it…”

Adrien drew back, fear displayed all over him. 

“Plagg, no, don’t say it, Plagg please-”

“I DON’T CARE THAT YOU HURT YOUR ELBOW!”

Adrien dropped his head in his hands. 

“He said it.”

“I sure did, I still will! A bruised elbow is nothing, kid! What would happen if something really bad happened? Like  _ Riposte cutting you open bad??? _ If you really have lost affiliation to the Miraculous Cure, whatever happens to you stays that way! You’re lucky we haven’t had any really powerful direct hits! The lightning bolt last night only grazed you, so I was able to absorb it, but if that had been straight at you, you would be in intensive care right now, fighting for your life!”

“Wait, back up.” Adrien said, lifting his head from his hands. “Lost affiliation with the MC?”

Plagg narrowed his eyes. 

“Yeah, it’s my most recent theory,” He said, careful not to mention the fact that he and Tikki may or may not have had a desperate sign-language conversation about it during Ms. Bustier’s class. He was only 80 percent certain he hadn’t misunderstood it all anyway.

Adrien frowned. “Explain.”

”Well,” Plagg said, a little nervously, “You’ve been severely injured before, right?”

Adrien twisted his face into a scowl. 

“Tell me about it.”

“And the MC fixed it every time. So many times, in fact, that your body has become too used to it, and it doesn’t work as well as it ought to. Four years of magic, and the magic starts to wear off. Last time you only retained a bruised elbow. This time, a good portion of getting thrown through concrete.”

Adrien paled a little. 

“It’s getting worse,” he said. 

Plagg watched as his chosen slowly realized the consequences of his double life. Watched him start to panic, saw his eyes dilate in and out. His breathing sped up. Finally, Plagg couldn’t take it anymore. 

“There is another option.” He said slowly.

Adrien whipped his head up.

“I’m not giving up being Chat Noir,” he hissed.

The kwami shook his head. 

“No, kid.  _ Another  _ another option.”

Adrien peered at Plagg.

“Explain.”

Plagg sighed. “The things I do for you…” he grumbled. Then resigned himself.

“I can take a little more. Extend myself over you deeper every time you transform, so hits don’t affect you like they usually would. The only downside to the whole mess is that, well…”

Adrien raised his eyebrows. “That…?”

Plagg squeezed his eyes shut. “Thereisachanceyoumightturnintoacat.”

Adrien blinked. “Pardon me?”

Plagg quietly mumbled “Are you Aaron Burr, sir?”

Adrien sighed, then responded in his usual custom. “That depends, who’s asking.”

Plagg grinned, then started the next line. “Oh, sure-”

But Adrien interrupted him. 

“We don’t have time for American pop culture right now, Plagg. What did you say?”

Plagg sighed in defeat. “There is a chance you might turn into a cat. Or adapt cat-like qualities.”

Adrien scrunched his face. 

“Would it be easier to cover up than various physical wounds?”

“Most probably.”

Adrien sighed. 

“I guess it’s our best option, then.”

Plagg groaned. 

“You know I’ll need at least twice as much cheese, right?”

Adrien narrowed his eyes. 

“Nasty kwami.”


	4. Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've pretty much abandoned all semblance of a consistent update schedule.
> 
> And yeah I know nothing super important happens this chapter but next chapter shall be more plot-devepmentationalising, I promise.
> 
> For now, enjoy LadyNoir fluffies!

Adrien was sitting at his desk, doing a stupid worksheet for Ms. Mendeleiev. He couldn’t believe she would assign such a huge amount of work over the weekend. He was due for patrol with Ladybug in twenty minutes, and he needed to have this stuff done. 

Plagg groaned in frustration, draping himself over Adrien’s central computer. 

“Haven’t we been transcribing DNA to mRNA to tRNA to amino acids for long enough?”

Adrien shushed him. 

“Actually, it’s DNA to tRNA to mRNA to amino acids.”

Plagg furrowed his brow. 

“According to your notes, it’s the other way around.” 

Adrien looked up wearily, then studied his notes for a moment. He groaned, and facepalmed. 

“I was almost done…” he whimpered.

Plagg scoffed. “Just leave them. As long as you have something down Mendeleiev will take it.”

“No, no. I have to know the material. This practice is essential.” Adrien frantically erased everything he’d been working on for the past hour and a half. 

After only a minute of furious concentration on problems he’d already done, he groaned in frustration. “I’ve got codon charts swimming behind my eyelids.” 

He stood, shoving his chair back from the desk. “Gotta get out of here,” he muttered. “Claws out.”

A familiar green flash raced over him, Plagg grumbling as he flew into the ring. Chat Noir wasted no time opening a window and jumping out into the night, leaving his chair spinning in the middle of the room.

—

He was early to their meeting spot, the Eiffel Tower lonely and deserted without Ladybug. The last of the day’s tourists pointed up at him and started to snap pictures. 

When he realized they were doing so he posed in various magical girl stances, and the ones who caught his various weeb references chattered away to each other. 

His English wasn’t too good, but from the snatches of conversation he caught they thought he looked great in leather. Chat grinned, satisfied.

“Enjoying your daily attention?”

Ladybug landed with a soft thud, and Chat’s face split into a wide grin. 

“Yours is the only attention I need, m’lady.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes, then looked down at the tourists below. They had seen her, and their English jabbering increased twofold. 

“What do you say we split this joint?” She suggested, quirking an eyebrow.

Chat grinned. “I know a perfect little patisserie right off the Seine. What do you say we stop for a bite?”

“Silly minou.” She booped his nose. “We can’t stop out  _ every _ night.” 

Chat whined, and turned on his puppy-dog eyes. 

“Buginette would deny a kitten his treats? That’s not very nice.”

“It’s a cruel world out here, Chaton. Come on, now.” She scratched the underside of his chin playfully. “Let’s head out and start patrol.”

Chat did his best not to purr as he leaned into her hand, savoring every bit of contact with his lady.

When her hand drew away he opened his eyes and sighed. She grinned, and pulled her yoyo off her hip. 

“Bet you can’t catch me!”

She swung away, laughing. 

Chat faked a sob, then screeched after her “Not fair! You had a head start!” He extended his baton off the ledge (nearly whacking a tourist in the face) and zoomed away, a fanatical grin adorning his face.

He loved this.


	5. An Un-Fur-Tunate Event Occurs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's short, but congratulations, it's what I've been leading up to. Main conflict numero uno. Terribly sorry if I disappoint.   
> And yes, there will be angst.   
> Yes, I am extremely frustrated with this plotline.   
> Yes, I will absolutely take it out on Adrien-#$%^&*&^#$%^&*&^%$!@#$%)*#@%$^ing-Agreste.
> 
> *whines pitifully* I'm trying not to curse in notes, I'm sorryyyyy *runs off into the dark, stormy night*

They sat on the tippy-top of the Notre Dame. Chat finished off his sub sandwich in about three bites, and had contented himself to staring out over the landscape. 

Ladybug ate her panini slowly, savoring the warmth it provided. 

She finally finished, and lay back against the roof with a contented sigh. 

“Well,” she said, “you were right. That patisserie was pretty good.” She turned over to him. “Do you always keep money in your suit pockets?”

Chat grinned. “Yep. My kwami figured out how to make stuff transfer over to my suit, so anything in my pockets when I transform ends up in my suit pockets. Pretty handy when it comes to snacks.”

Ladybug groaned overexaggeratedly. “Stop rubbing the fact that you have pockets in my face!”

Chat grinned and shrugged unapologetically. “What can I say? Perks of being a stupid cat-boy.” 

Ladybug grinned affectionately. “My knight in shining leather comes bringing gifts of panini.”

He grinned, and tipped an imaginary cap. “At your service, m’lady.” 

They looked out over the Parisian night sky. 

“Well, looks like Papillion went to bed early. I should be heading home, Chaton. See you Sunday night? I think we can skip patrol tomorrow.” 

Chat smiled. “Sure thing, Buginette. I’ll research some _claw-_ some puns in your absence, and shall rain them upon you when we meet again!”

Ladybug groaned and facepalmed. “Don’t remind me.” 

She swung away. Chat stared after her until she had disappeared into the night sky, then turned to head home. 

He dropped through his open window without a sound. 

“Claws out.” He whispered. 

Green light raced over him, and Adrien stood in his dark room. Plagg floated out and immediately made for his little Camembert mini-fridge like there was no tomorrow. 

“Well?” Adrien looked at Plagg expectantly.

Plagg didn’t look up from his cheese. “Well what?”

“Did you do it?”

“Yeah. Now leave me alone.”

Adrien scrunched his face. “I don’t feel any different…”

Suddenly, he saw it. An empty box right in the middle of the room. He had earlier unpacked the various personal medical supplies he had ordered in case of a major injury. It was just sitting there, empty. That wasn’t right. Boxes needed to be filled. It was their purpose in life. He walked over to the box and sized it up. 

Yes, he would fill up the empty space quite nicely. He would be doing the box a favor, of course. Suddenly, he felt the inexplicable urge to do so. 

So he stepped in the box. 

He would fill it up better if he sat down. 

So he did. He sunk down until only his eyes poked over the lip of the box, like a spy. He just wanted to sit and observe the room, in this box. He wondered amiably if Nathalie would notice if he slept in the box. 

Oh, yes. This was fantastic. 

Suddenly, he felt Plagg staring at him. He turned to see his kwami eyeing him dubiously from his fridge. 

“Watcha… watcha doin, kid?” Plagg asked nervously. 

Adrien hissed.

Plagg facepalmed. 

“This was a bad idea,” he grumbled.

\--

Adrien woke up the next morning with a terrible crick in his neck. He opened his eyes with a start at the thunderous knocking on the door. 

“Adrien? ADRIEN? Are you in there?!” He could hear Nathalie out in the hall. 

Adrien groaned in response, and fell sideways out of the box.

“Yeah, yeah, I was  _ asleep _ . Personal  _ space _ , Nathalie.”

“You need to be ready in ten minutes. Your father has scheduled you a surprise photo shoot. The driver will meet you outside.”

He groaned again, louder, to express his discontent. All he heard in response was Nathalie’s heels clicking back down the hall. 

Adrien slowly realized that he was still wedged in the box. He’d just fallen over in it. His knees were trapped and he was scrunched into a little ball. He instinctively started to stretch, and in doing so ripped the box open at the seams. 

“Awwww.” He whimpered, looking down at the remains of his cozy little box. 

He moved to get out from under it and cracked his back with a terrible sound, like breaking glass. 

“MEEEEEOWCH!” he screeched. 

Plagg looked up with bleary eyes from where he had fallen asleep in his usual spot on Adrien’s pillow. 

“Do you  _ live? _ ” he grumbled, cranky from the terrible sleep. Adrien, unbeknownst to himself, had been purring all night, and Plagg just couldn’t sleep right.

Adrien grumbled under his breath as he rubbed his back awkwardly. He moved sluggishly getting ready, and decided in a flash of rebelliousness that he  _ was  _ going to take a shower, ten minutes be damned. 

He turned the water to its hottest, and selected the ultra-disinfectant shampoo. After lathering up his head, he simply stood in with his face in the water, letting the scalding shower permeate to warm his very bones. 

He was just turning to pick up conditioner when he saw a shadow out of the corner of his eye. He narrowed his eyes, and was still for a moment, concentrating on the sound of the water hitting the tile floor, the feel of it drizzling over him. 

Watching for a sign of what had put him on edge.

He saw it again.

A fleeting black, snakelike shadow in the corner of his vision. He whipped his head to look, water shooting off the tips of his lank hair. But in an instant it was gone, twitching away.

Again!

He whirled. What in the world?

Then he realised.

Oh no.

Oh  _ no _ .

NonononononoNO!

This was bad.

This was very, very bad.

Adrien stared down at his brand-spanking new accessory in horror.

A fluffy black tail.


	6. Foreboding Eventationalizing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, m'dudes, it's ya writer here, back at it again with another idiotic fanfic update...  
> So yep, fun stuff happening, just another day in the MLB fandom. Featuring deep thoughts, mental breakdowns, and concerned chauffers. For tonight only, we're offering a special side of dark foreshadowing.  
> Yeah, yeah, I know it's short. It's hecking one o'clock in the morning and I was procrastinating and didn't write this til literally just now like the troglodyte I am.  
> Enjoy the fruits of my labor, while I go enjoy sleep for the first time in a couple of days <3.

Suddenly, furious banging on his door. 

Adrien whipped his head up, terror in his eyes.

“ADRIEN!” Nathalie screeched. “You are thirty minutes over your time! You are going to be LATE!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” Adrien called frantically. “I’m sorry, I lost track of time, I got in the shower  _ I’m still in the shower please don’t come in! _ ”

He could hear her facepalm from the shower.

“You need to be out in less than thirty seconds or so help me I will tell your father!”

Adrien flinched, then yanked the water off and snatched a towel from the rack. He dried himself as quickly as he could. He gingerly rubbed the small of his back, which now possessed a tuft of black fur before continuing a cat tail. 

He tried not to think about it, hoping he’d look over and it’d be gone. 

Took a quick swig of mouthwash and two swipes of deodorant, eyeing the tail as it twitched lazily between his legs. 

He stumbled into his bedroom to rifle through his drawers, pulling out his customary jeans and t-shirt. After a moment of consideration, he silently willed the tail to wrap around his abdomen, and concealed it with a thick coat that he yanked on over his regular shirt. 

It was getting to be Fall, after all, so it wouldn’t seem too out of the ordinary. He’d worry about hiding it at the shoot later.

He grabbed socks and his ugly orange Converse, then grabbed Plagg out of the minifridge and stuffed him in his jacket. 

Adrien threw open the door with a crash, and stumbled down the hallway, pulling on his socks as he went.

He hopped out to the silver sedan, one shoe on and the other heel out. His driver pulled open the door just in time for Adrien to flop across the backseat. Gorilla slammed the door with a grunt, and returned to the driver seat with inhuman speed, slamming his massive foot down on the pedal and screeching out of the drive. 

Adrien was pressed against the seat as he struggled to tie his shoes while being jostled around. He could hear Gorilla grumbling up front. 

Adrien’s cheeks reddened as he realized the consequences of his being late to the shoot would probably fall back on Gorilla, even if it was Adrien’s fault. He quietly finished with his shoes, then buckled his seatbelt. 

He suddenly became hyperaware of the furry snake curled around his abs. He winced, and hoped to every higher power that this shoot would be a Winter coat model. Anything but underwear and swimsuits today, please. Anything but those.

He was rather proud of his composure. Four years ago he would be freaking out, bouncing off walls in terror. 

But he’d been Chat Noir for so long, hidden and dodged around his true identity for so many years that avoiding the wrong kind of attention had become second nature.

Yes, physical signs were new.

About three days new, exactly.

But you had to be able to adapt fast, stay on your toes. 

...

Who did he think he was kidding?!

There is a tail.

Tail.

How was he supposed to hide it?!

Bruises were explainable, albeit difficult.

Tails were something totally different.

_ Tail. _

Adrien was freaking out. He was so freaking out and he couldn’t say anything, couldn’t do anything to convey his terror and it was driving him INSANE!

_ I am going to die. _ He thought numbly.

_ I am going to die because I can’t tell anyone and I can’t ask for help and there’s no escaping the fact that I am not okay I AM NOT OKAY! _

He realized he was hyperventilating and could sense his driver’s worried gaze on him in the mirror. 

He sat up, and smiled shakily. Gorilla huffed, and turned back to the road. 

_ Why couldn’t it be four years ago again?  _

Things were so much easier. It was just him and Ladybug against the world. Now he had secrets. So many secrets. 

He considered telling Ladybug about his new condition. But that would only worry her and at worst, she would take risks so he didn’t have to. He couldn’t have that. He would never forgive himself if something truly irreparable happened to her.

They’d talked about their mortality before, of course. You start to run out of innocent conversation starters after four years of fighting monsters together. 

_ It was a rather pointless conversation anyway, seeing as how Chat knew that if Ladybug died he would already be long dead, so the only people to really mourn would be the people she knew in her other life. And of course Ladybug never wanted to consider the option of Chat’s death, and reasoned similarly.  _

_ After a heated debate, they both settled down a bit. Had to get it out of their system. _

_ Finally, they came up with what they thought was a foolproof plan. If one of them passed on the job, the other would be the only one left to notify their family in real life. So Chat carefully wrote  _ Adrien Agreste _ on a minuscule slip of paper and tucked it in one of his most discreet pockets, and Ladybug wrote her real name on a similar paper, and placed it in her yoyo’s storage pocket.  _

_ She taught Chat how to retrieve things from the yoyo, but he didn’t really pay attention.  _

_ He knew he would die protecting her. _


	7. The Plot Thickens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so begin the Marichat shenanigans. I am totally jumping in with no prior anything whatsoever cause just Marichat, yknow?  
> Yes it is short I'm terribly sorry not sorry.

Chat Noir races over rooftops, eyes glowing with joy. Patrol is Adrien’s favorite past time, and, though he’ll never admit it, Plagg’s too. The chilly night air whipped through his hair, and the moonlight threw sharp shadows behind his every movement. 

He paused for a moment and tipped his chin up to breathe the frigid Parisian air. He flopped backward over a chimney to stare up at the sky, stars cold points of light in the distance. 

_ There’s got to be a really cool metaphor up there somewhere. _

. . .

_ Heh heh.  _

_ Cool.  _

_ Cause it’s cold outside. _

He could almost hear Plagg’s derisive laughter at his admittedly forced pun.

A crash shattered his moment of revelation. Chat whipped his head around, scanning for whatever had interrupted his pun session. He spotted Marinette, groaning in frustration at an upside-down glass top table on the terrace above the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

Chat grinned at the familiar reminder of Marinette’s eternal clumsiness. He plucked his baton off his belt and extended it to touch the street below, then rocketed off toward the struggling bluenette. 

He dropped behind her, silent as a cat, but he saw her freeze. 

“ _ Who’s there?! _ ” She whipped around, and accidentally slapping Chat Noir across the face.

He let out a surprised “Meowch!” and fell back. Marinette’s eyes widened and she gave a strangled little gasp. Then, composing herself, placed a hand on her hip and stared at Chat condescendingly.

“And what do  _ you  _ think you’re doing here?” She squinted at him suspiciously. 

Chat grinned. “Well, I was on patrol, just like normal…”

“Mhm...” her eyes narrowed further.

“And I saw you having a bit of a conundrum…”

“Mhm...”

“And, as a  _ responsible  _ superhero, I, naturally, came to your aid.”

“Mhm. I see.” Marinette deadpanned. 

“So here I am!” Chat Noir took a deep bow. “At your service,  _ Purr _ incess.” He looked up at her and winked.

_ What? What am I doing? Bad Adrien. Flirting is for  _ Ladybug _ , she’s your  _ classmate _. _

Marinette raised an eyebrow. “Really now. Well, as you can see, there is no conundrum. I’m fine.” She waved a hand dismissively. “Go back to patrol, Chaton.”

Chat subconsciously drooped. “But Marinetteeee…”

_ But legitimately what the actual frick frack tic tac. _

She sniffed dramatically, and turned back to the overturned table. 

“Marinette, I’m lonelyyyy…”

_ What. This is incorrect. I’m not lonely why am I- _

She didn’t even turn to look as he spoke, instead again taking up arms against the table once more.

“Chat, can’t you see I’m busy?”

He walked over to the table and righted it with ease. “There, see?” He jokingly dusted his paws against each other. “Complete, the task is. Busy, you are no longer.” He grinned. “For social interaction, available you are.” 

She scowled at him. He smiled smugly- proud of his Yoda-speak.

_ Chat Noir, One. Marinette, Zero. _

“Fine,” she said, sitting on her delicate little metal filigree chair. “How can I keep you company?”

He smiled, satisfied with his little victory. 

“Well…” he mused, stroking an imaginary beard. “You wouldn’t happen to have any video games?”

_ That actually might be fun. _

“No. No. No. No. NO.” Marinette threw her hands up, exasperated. “I don’t even know why you’re still here. Don’t you have hero-y things to occupy yourself?”

Chat sighed. “If my Princess is truly adamant…”

“Yep. Goodnight, Chat.”

“Okaaay…” he gave her his trademarked two-finger salute. “Later!” 

And then he was gone.


	8. Plagg, Do The Thing!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I had like this whole plan for how this chapter was going to go but I totally left the plan in the dust and went off on a Marichat tangent cause I fricking felt like it. 
> 
> BTWwww I'm switching to updating probs every other week cause I've been like alternately neglecting this and Out of Ashes and it's making me feel guilty, sooo... yeah I have exams coming up so I might not update for like this week (but that'll be the OoA day so I guess that doesn't affect y'all so nvmm)
> 
> Also thank you so much to people taking time to kudos/comment, it means a lot and makes my day, so thank you :3
> 
> Is that everything... *subtly checks list of things to say in the notes* yep okay well enjoy the chapter hope you like it thanks byeee *runs off into dark night howling and clutching other people's fanfic*

Everyone trudged into school as usual. The bell rang just as Marinette screeched over the threshold of the classroom, eyes wild. She zipped up to slide in beside Alya, balancing a coffee in one hand and a croissant in her mouth. 

“I made it!” she yelped, triumphantly waving her free arm to Mrs. Bustier. She turned to Alya, smiling happily. “Not late, see?” 

Alya wagged her finger at Marinette, squinting. “It was close, girl.”

Mrs. Bustier clapped. “All right, class, let’s begin. We have a lot of exam review to get through today.”

The class began promptly, but Alya could tell that Marinette was distracted, and not by the usual blonde head in front of her. She squinted suspiciously at her friend, who would usually be either note taking or staring at Adrien. 

But today she stared off into the distance (aka the ‘hang in there’ cat poster in the corner of the classroom, but that was probably coincidental) with a thoughtful frown on her face. When the end of class bell rang, Alya poked Marinette. 

“Hey, girl, you were like, super distracted by something other than Wonderboy there. Whatcha thinking about?”

Marinette turned around to pack up her things. “Oh, nothing, Alya,” she said, a slight crease in her eyebrows. “Just thinking about something that happened recently.” 

Alya crossed her arms. “Well?”

Marinette sighed. “Do you ever wonder what people do when they’re not around you? Like, who they are when you can’t see?”

Adrien paused putting his notebook in his bag, ears perked to the conversation behind him.

“Deep thoughts, girl,” Alya shrugged. “C’mon, we’ll be late if you keep philosophizing like this.”

They both slung their bags over their shoulders and walked out, chatting aimlessly. 

Adrien was left standing, a puzzled expression on his face.

_ What did Marinette mean? Was she talking about.. him? _

_ Chat Noir? _

_. _

_ Well. _

_. _

_. _

_ Guess I’d better visit again. _

A couple classes later and everyone was gathered in the courtyard for lunch. Marinette, Alya, Nino, and Adrien had somehow become a little lunch group, and had staked out for the four of them a certain bench that always had a ray of sun on it. (Adrien, for some reason, enjoyed sleeping there on occasion.) 

They all sat down. Marinette ripped open a brown paper lunchbag to scarf down steamed buns and a macaron or two. Alya bought lunch from the school cafetorium, and Nino wordlessly handed Adrien a peanut butter sandwich. 

They’d all subconsciously decided that he was far too skinny and took turns bringing something to constitute the meager ‘lunch’ planned by his dietician. 

Chloe’s whiny voice cut through their casual conversation. 

“ADRIKINS! What are you doing eating that peasant food?!”She snatched the sandwich from Adrien’s clutches, missing his mournful whine as she tossed in away. 

“Chloe, must you-”

“But  _ anyway _ , Adrikins, did you see the latest Ladyblog post about Queen Bee? Utterly fantastic, isn’t she?” she simpered. “Honestly, Ladybug should just make Queen Bee her permanent partner, and toss away the deadweight kitty, don’t you think, Adri?” 

Chloe snuggled into Adrien, not seeing his suddenly crestfallen expression, the tension in his face as he looked around hopelessly. His gaze landed on Marinette, who he saw with surprise was nearly vibrating with rage.

_ Oh no. _

Adrien barely had time to brace himself before Marinette hissed at Chloe- “ _ I’m sorry, say that again?”  _

Chloe turned to Marinette. “Queen Bee would make a  _ much _ better partner for Ladybug than Kitty. An  _ actual _ partner, rather than a brain-dead sidekick. Why, he doesn’t even know physics!”

Marinette’s eyes widened, and her fists tightened til her knuckles were white. Alya tentatively reached for her friend.

“Nette, no-”

But her touch was the trigger. Marinette sprung up from the bench and whipped around to face Chloe, her eyes aflame with anger. 

“CHAT NOIR IS NO ONE’S SIDEKICK! HE’S SAVED LADYBUG MORE TIMES THAN ANYONE COULD COUNT, AND SHE WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT HIM,  _ NOTHING! _ ” She jabbed her finger in Chloe’s chest. “AND  _ NO ONE  _ CALLS HIM KITTY BUT  _ LADYBUG,  _ YOU CREEPER!” She jabbed Chloe again. “ _ NO ONE! _ ”

Marinette suddenly realized that the courtyard had gone quiet, and nearly every face was turned to her. She blushed furiously, and gathered up her things hastily. 

“I’ll see you guys in class,” she muttered to Nino, Alya, and Adrien. She hurried away, quick, controlled footsteps pattering up the stairs to a second-floor restroom. She completely missed Adrien’s awed expression of relief.

_ Someone does believe in me _ , he smiled to himself. A sudden roaring distracted him, and he turned to see a black figure rising out of the courtyard surrounded by a lazily spinning circle of golden hexagons. 

“Don’t wOrrY, ChLoE, tHey’Ll AlL lOvE yOu... “ it hissed. “As yOur lOyAl sErvAnt, I’ll mAkE sUrE Of It!” the figure flicked her wrist out and a hexagon broke formation to fly out and hit an innocent student, who immediately fell to Chloe’s feet, kowtowing. 

“And thAt MArInEttE? I’vE gOt sOmEthIng spEcIAl fOr HER!” The akumatized victim (assumedly Sabrina, no one else would get akumatized to  _ defend  _ Chloe) flew up, golden eyes leering. 

Adrien flew into the nearest restroom, leaving Alya and Nino in the dust with a quick “ _ sorrygottagoemergencyy’allhavefunstayoutoftheactionBYE!” _ He slammed the bathroom door, effectively cutting off the screams outside. He turned to Plagg, dragging a hand through his hair. “Marinette’s in trouble for defending  _ my  _ honour. I have to help her!”

Plagg rolled his eyes.

“Oh, shut up.  _ Plagg, transformez-moi!”  _

\--

“Oh, Tikki, this is all my fault!” Marinette said helplessly. “If I hadn’t jumped on Chloe, no one would have gotten akumatized!”

Tikki floated up. “Chat Noir’s your partner, Marinette. You’re allowed to defend him.”

“I suppose. But now we’ve got to deal with the consequences.  _ Tikki, sp- _ ”

“Marinette!” Chat’s whisper-yell echoed into the bathroom. “Marinette, I need to get you to safety! You in here?”

Marinette turned to the door as Tikki zoomed back in her bag. Marinette sighed, then walked out. 

“Yeah, Chat, I’m- eep!” He scooped her up and began to run down the hall. Screams continued to echo outside.

“Um, Chat? Shouldn’t you be dealing with the akuma instead of worrying about me?”

He didn’t turn to look at her as he spoke, but kept running, making his way surely to the exit. “Sabrina’s been akumatized. Apparently something happened with Chloe and now she’s after you.” He glanced down at her, as if to make sure she was still there. “She said she had something special planned for you.”

Marinette didn’t care. She needed him to put her down so she could go finish this fight!

“Besides, I’m sure Ladybug will be able to hold down the fort until I get back. After all, she could totally do this without me.”

He realized his mistake too late, suddenly remembering what caused this whole mess in the first place. He tensed, waiting for Marinette’s fiery rage. 

But it didn’t come. 

He looked down at her, a little surprised, but she had her eyes closed and was silently clinging to him.

_ Oh.  _

_ Well, it was nice while it lasted. _

Chat saw a classroom undergoing renovation, and stopped abruptly. Marinette opened her eyes tentatively to see Chat laying her down gingerly in the classroom with sheets over the furniture and plywood over the windows. If she remembered correctly, a couple attacks ago the Miraculous Cure had failed to completely fix an imploded classroom. This was is, a painful reminder of her failure. 

She looked up to see Chat Noir opening the door to leave, but she grabbed his tail, stopping him in his tracks. He turned back to her and she smiled softly.

“Hey. Be careful, okay?”

He grinned, then gave his two-finger salute. “Sure thing. Stay safe, Princess.”

Then she let him go.

He was already almost back outside when he realized what he’d called her.

  
  


A few minutes later, Ladybug arrived in all her glory, and the remaining students not bowing to Chloe cheered at the sight of the familiar spotted heroine. 

Ladybug came to rest beside Chat, who was silently observing the commotion below.

“Any ideas?” she asked him. 

“I think the akuma’s in the thingy in her hand. See?” he pointed to the self-proclaimed  _ Notre Dirigeant _ , who held what looked like a black rod in her left hand, which she was flicking around to control the golden light hexagons.

“Probably. Well, how’s the old sneak attack sound?”

Chat shrugged. “I’m not currently busy. You?”

His Lady smiled. “Why, I’m free as well. Shall we?” she asked, offering him her hand. He took it delicately, and she smirked before tossing him toward Notre Dirigeant. 

He was airborne for a moment, but landed with catlike grace just in front of Notre Dirigeant. 

“Ah! ThE kIttY cAt! I bElIEvE yOU hAvE sOmEthIng fOr mE?” 

Chat leapt to avoid a golden blast. “If you mean my miraculous, I’m afraid you’re in for a dissa- _ pun _ -ting result!”

Notre Dirigeant wheeled to blast at Chat Noir again. “DOn’t wOrry! SOOn, yOU cAn wOrshIp mY lEAdEr, jUst lIkE yOUr frIEnds!”

“Sounds like a great time, but I think I’ll pass!” Chat yelled, diving at Notre Dirigeant. She swung a black leg at him, catching him in the gut. He was knocked backward, landing with a sickening  _ crunch  _ over a chunk of pavement. “ _ Plagg, do the thing!” _ he mentally screamed. 

Meantime, Ladybug charged with a fearsome yell, swinging in feet-first into Notre Dirigeant’s chest. But Notre Dirigeant didn’t even move. Ladybug fell back, scrambling backward as Notre Dirigeant raised her thingy thing, summoning the gold hexagons to swirl around her. 

“YOU’ll chOOsE QUEEn BEE As yOUr nEw pArtnEr, And mY mAstEr wIll bE sO plEAsEd!”

She twisted the thingy thing (yeah that’s its new name now) and blasted the hexagons at Ladybug, who dodged and rolled to avoid them. Suddenly, Chat Noir leapt up and tackled Notre Dirigeant from behind her, scratching and hissing. 

“WhAt ArE yOU-” Notre Dirigeant punched Chat in the face, but he didn’t move. Plagg had granted him the superior strength that he needed to distract Notre Dirigeant. The villain looked faintly surprised, but shrugged and dove back into the fight. They tusseled, Chat clawing and punching, and taking hits that would have killed him before. Finally he pinned her arms behind her back, and Ladybug took the chance to wrap her up with the yoyo string, almost mummifying her in unbreakable cord. Notre Dirigeant grunted and struggled, but Chat Noir called-

“Cataclysm.”

And turned the thingy thing to dust. A violet, glowing butterfly emerged from the ashes, and Ladybug untangled Sabrina in a flash to snap up the akuma. 

“Bye bye, little butterfly.”

She threw her yoyo up, the “Miraculous Ladybug” echoing through the school as the healing light washed over the campus. 

Ladybug turned to Chat, fist raised for their commonplace bien joué, but he surprised her by instead rubbing his head against her outstretched fist. She blinked. 

“Kitty, what are you doing?”

He stopped mid-nuzzle and his eyes flew open. 

“Heh heh- nothing. Well, uh, I gotta go. I’m gonna go check on Marinette, make sure she got back safe. I guess I’ll see you around?”

“Ladybug turned a little pink. “Yeah, okay. See ya, kitty!” she swung away, leaving Chat to go searching for his Princess. 


	9. Not A Chapter.

Lemme just open with an apology for my irresponsible ass.

I kinda abandoned all my works in progress and started wandering around in ao3's mess of PJO and HP cause I was getting kinda bored (no excuse I know). I've had a lot going on recently and kinda turned to fanfic to get rid of actually dealing with my problems and one of my problems is (conveniently) writing.

I have a lot of stuff goin on right now and honestly don't have much motivation to continue storylines that I've already explored- I've realized too late that I'm better suited to writing short fics and one-shots.

I am really really sorry.

Thank you for sticking with this train wreck of a work, and I am so sorry I'm leaving it like this.

As of now Of Rules and Roses is officially up for adoption. I'm marking it as completed and may come back to it eventually when I get my head out of my ass and realize there's more to life than just reading other people's work, but as of now I'm still an ignorant nutjob.

I might add to this but it probably won't be anytime soon. Like years soon. If anyone does take up the mantle (please please please do) please tag the new fic in the comments here and this one on the addition. I only started this one cause wanted to read one like it.

I'm terribly sorry.


End file.
